BLING BLING

(fair warning – this post and all links may include words that some folk might consider rude. if you’re not a fan of sweary words, or don’t want to read about tits, GO NO FURTHER and definitely don’t click any links.)

a couple of months ago, the fabulous Countess Ablaze dyed two limited edition colourways – “Shit Tea & Traybakes”, and “If I Want Exposure, I’ll Get My Tits Out” – as a fundraiser for Women’s Aid, in response to a patronising and misogynistic encounter she had. These colourways went a bit viral, and she ended up raising an epic £3000 before retiring the colourways.

fast forward to a week or so ago, when the Countess realised that another dyer who had bought one of the original skeins (who shall remain nameless) was now selling a colourway that was suspiciously familiar. so the Countess, with utter class & dignity, created the Tits Out Collective – throwing it open to any dyer or maker who wanted to join in. the Tits Out Collective has been given complete license to recreate the original “If I Want Exposure, I’ll Get My Tits Out” colourway in our own style, and choose our own charity who will receive a portion of our sales. so far, over 200 dyers & makers worldwide have signed up, including me!!



my “If I Want Exposure, I’ll Get My Tits Out” is the “BLING BLING” edition. dyed on a superwash merino/nylon/GOLD sparkle 4ply, it combines the original vivid magenta & orange tones with splashes of blue and jade/green. as well as being inspired by the Countess’ original version (of course!) i was also inspired by something that might surprise some of you.

let’s face it – my persona & style is very much middle-aged-middle-class-guardian-reading-white-lady-crunchy-granola-queer, and i’m fine with that. i’m a quiet autistic person who listens to folk music, sews their own clothes, wears minimal jewelry, hasn’t worn an underwire bra in YEARS, and is a big fan of sandals. but when i’m feeling down, or need to get stuck in to some serious work, or am going for a run, i listen to the loudest, rudest, dirtiest female rappers i can find (& if you have any recommendations, i’d LOVE to add more to my “GET SHIT DONE” playlists!!).

when the Countess first announced the Tits Out Collective, i had just come home from my PIP assessment (if you’re not familiar with this, it’s a horrific face-to-face appointment where you have to try and convince someone with no specialist knowledge of your disability/illness that yes, you are still “disabled enough” to continue to receive a pittance of disability benefits). needless to say, i felt like absolute crap – there’s nothing like spending over an hour going through everything that you can’t do to make you feel like the lowest, shittest person ever. i wasn’t able to function at all for the rest of that day, but the next morning, i got myself into the studio, got some music blasting, and started working on my Tits Out Collective colourway – just to remind myself that there was still something i could do.

one of the songs in heavy rotation on my playlist is “Bling Bling” by rapper Junglepussy. this song has the line “it’s a full-time job fucking loving yourself”, which really resonates with me when i’m feeling shit. it also has a chorus at the end which is “all my hot girls with me/and we dance around & bounce those titties” – this not only ties in well with the colourway name, but the image of celebrating yourself & your lady friends with some jubilant titty-bouncing makes me really happy!!! (it’s also impossible not to dance around to that chorus – try it & see!). and when i image-searched the rapper, these photos came up, which fit in so well with the colours i wanted to use that i couldn’t get them out of my head.



for me, this colourway came out of feeling the lowest mentally that i have done in quite a while; because of that, £5 from each skein will be donated to the Scottish Association for Mental Health. all participants in the Tits Out Collective will be launching their own editions of this colourway at noon (UK time) on 1st july – once it goes live, you’ll be able to purchase the BLING BLING edition here! i’ve dyed about 30 skeins that are ready to ship; after that, i’ll be offering this colourway as a dyed-to-order and will ship orders as skeins are ready (turnaround time is usually about a week depending on demand). i’ll see how high demand is for it and cap my dyeing according to what i can manage – i have no idea how popular this will be or how many skeins i’ll be dyeing, but it will be a limited edition colourway and won’t become part of my regular range (so if you want some, get it sooner rather than later!).

i’m really excited to be part of the Tits Out Collective and can’t wait to see what everyone else comes up with!!

lookin’ out for my mama & my day-one bitches
independent women we accumulatin’ riches
blowin’ haters kisses
forever fly misses
we whippin’ in the kitchen so respect my bidness

ALL SKEINS OF THIS YARN ARE NOW SOLD OUT – TOGETHER WE HAVE RAISED £1000 FOR SAMH!!!  thank you all who got involved in the Tits Out Collective!!!